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Country

Shitty Golfer – Toby Keith

Toby Keith's Family Brought to Tears During CMT Awards Tribute

About the Song

In the realm of country music, Toby Keith stands as a towering figure, a true American icon. Renowned for his gritty anthems and patriotic ballads, Keith has captivated audiences for decades with his honest storytelling and down-to-earth persona. Among his vast repertoire of hits, one song stands out as a humorous and relatable ode to the struggles of the average golfer: “Shitty Golfer.”

Released in 2017 as part of Keith’s album The Bus Songs, “Shitty Golfer” is a lighthearted romp through the frustrations and mishaps that plague even the most seasoned golf enthusiasts. With its catchy melody and Keith’s signature twang, the song has become a favorite among golfers of all skill levels, providing a much-needed dose of camaraderie and laughter to a sport that can often be as challenging as it is rewarding.

The song’s lyrics paint a vivid picture of a golfer struggling to make par, slicing his drives into the woods, and duffing his chips into the sand. Keith’s self-deprecating humor shines through as he recounts his own golfing woes, admitting that he’s “no Tiger Woods” and that his game is more “hit and pray” than skill and precision.

Despite his struggles, the narrator of the song never loses his love for the game. He acknowledges that golf is “not for the faint of heart” but insists that it’s worth the effort, even for those who are more likely to find themselves in the rough than on the fairway.

The chorus of “Shitty Golfer” is a rallying cry for all those who have ever picked up a club and experienced the frustration of a missed putt or a wayward shot. Keith sings, “There’s a whole lotta folks like me out there / Who ain’t no good at golf, I swear / But we love it just the same / Even though we’re a shitty golfer’s shame.”

“Shitty Golfer” is more than just a funny song about a bad golfer; it’s a celebration of the camaraderie and shared experiences that make golf such a popular pastime. It’s a reminder that even the most skilled players have their bad days, and that the true joy of the game lies not in perfection but in the challenge and the shared experience.

So, the next time you find yourself hacking your way through the woods or three-putting from the green, remember that you’re not alone. There’s a whole community of “shitty golfers” out there who share your pain and your passion for the game. And if you happen to stumble across Toby Keith on the course, be sure to buy him a beer and commiserate over a round of your “not-so-great” golf.Toby Keith Thanks His Fans for the Love and Support

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Lyrics: Shitty Golfer

I’m a shitty golfer, you can ask my wife
I’ve been out there hackin’ every day of my life
I got the shorts and all the plaid sweaters
And new taylormade driver didn’t make me any betterMan, I hit ’em fat and I hit ’em thin
I roll ’em in the bunker’s man, I hit ’em again
Slice ’em in the bushes, crank ’em in a creek
I popped that sucker up and hooked it out in the streetYeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a fiveHey, I’m a shitty golfer, most of us are
But we carry our clubs in the back of our cars
What else you gonna do when you’re out of town
And you need to waste a whole day and shoot another roundMan, I played Augusta, and I played Pebble Beach
And one time at Sawgrass I shot 83
If I live long enough to be 88
I think I’ll celebrate it by shooting my age

Yeah, I’m 245 right down the middle
And I’ll miss the green, to the left just a little
Chili dip a wedge, and put it all together
Hit that son of a bitch right up there in the leather
If you call that good, and let me press on the side
You can put me down for a five, oh yeah
You can put me down for a five

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“JUST LET ME HAVE THE LAST WORD ON THIS ONE, KENNY,” DOLLY WHISPERED WHILE ADJUSTING HER HEADPHONES. He laughed, that deep rumble hitting the monitors, and let her steer the final chorus into a place neither had planned. The resulting take turned a tired pop standard into an intimate negotiation between two heavyweights who knew exactly how much space to leave for each other. There was an uncanny ease in the way Kenny and Dolly occupied a microphone together, a kind of shorthand that only comes from decades of shared road grease and lonely hotel rooms. When they decided to track that old rhythm and blues staple, Love Is Strange, they weren’t looking for a radio hit. They were looking for the space between the notes, that quiet, dusty air where two lifelong friends could just talk. Kenny brought the heavy, grounded weight of a man who had seen too much, while Dolly possessed that sharp, silver-tongued wit that could cut through any pretense in the room. They didn’t just harmonize; they engaged in a playful, dangerous dance of familiarity. Most duets are forced marriages of convenience, calculated in executive boardrooms to shift units. This was something else entirely. It sounded like an unscripted conversation, a series of knowing glances caught on tape where the melody mattered less than the subtext. You can hear them smiling through the vocal booths, leaning into each other with the kind of comfort that only exists when you stop trying to impress the world and start paying attention to the person standing right next to you. In the final mix, the gloss of the production fades into the background, leaving only the sound of two distinct lives briefly overlapping. It serves as a reminder that the most authentic music often happens when the cameras stop rolling and the tape is left running, capturing the simple, fragile beauty of a human connection that requires no explanation at all.

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